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Editorials   Top 10: Rejected Mario spinoff games
- By Kevlar Gorilla

Mario Golf, Mario Kart, Mario Tennis, Mario Party... each one of these games was successful due to the fact that they all starred Nintendo’s portly Italian mascot, Mario. Of course, Mario’s popularity and over-all likeableness can only take him so far. Just in time for the weekend, here is a collection of ten different Mario spin-off games that were once considered to be published into real games, however, were scrapped for various reasons.


10) Super Mario snail hunt

Spoken in outlandish Australian Voice:
“Krykie! Look at that one... he’s huge! Here we have one of the world's most dangerous, poisonous, and worst tempered snails. One nibble from this bloke and you’ll be seeing daisies for months. I’m gonna go in and touch it.”


9) Mario Cabertoss

Mario and friends throwing logs... Whee!


8) Mario Sleep

“I’m-a tired...
... zzz ...”
The winner is the last one to get bored.


7) Super Mario Jail Cell

It turns out that Mario never paid taxes on all of the coins he’s collected over the years. Now he’s spending 25 to life for tax-evasion. Insert crude soap-dropping joke here.


6) Super Mario housewife

This game got scrapped when the Nintendo bigwigs realized that:
a) Mario is not married
b) Mario is not female
c) Mario always burns the roast


5) Mario Pope

Be the Pope! Cool Pope-hat and Pope-mobile included. To the Pope-cave!


4) Mario Frat Party

A little something from Mario’s college years. Beer. Chicks. Party.
... yes, Mario did go to plumber college


3) Super Mario Retirement Home

Yes, old people are funny. Now let’s all point and laugh.


2) Super Mario Mafia!

In the pre-quel to Super Mario Jail Cell, you must produce false legal documents to save precious coins to pay off your bookies: Fat Tony and Mickey the Clamp. Be careful, or you’ll be sent to the cleaners.


1) Mario’s “let’s-a shoot stuff!”

This is a game that some people could really get into. Sadly, not a single beta-tester could defeat Luigi’s dual colt .45 ‘s .

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