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Editorials 
Top 10: Things to do with your Gamecube while waiting for new games
- By Kevlar
Gorilla
In memory of the first (and only) game shortage in the Gamecube’s enduring legacy, I have compiled a list of several (see: 10) activities / tasks / alternate identities that you may or may not use your Gamecube for until more good games are released. Of course, I don’t assume any responsibility for what may or may not happen to your cube, so don’t come whining to me if you stub your toe. Here we go:
10) Ninja-style Grappling Hook
Infiltrate secret communist bases and kick ass kung-fu style. Small, light-weight, portable, and mouse-fart quiet, the Gamecube is the ninja’s best friend. In fact, 9 out of every 10 ninjas prefer it, and that tenth one really needs his ass kicked.
9) Pocket Blender
A little duct-tape, some nifty razor blades, and a few band-aids later, and you have yourself one of the most tastiest strawberry daiquiris on the planet. Just promise not to use it for evil.
8) A hat
This guy’s cool. You know why? He’s wearing the Gamecube on his head. It’s like a party, and everyone’s invited. Beware of acute gigantism.
6) Portable Hamster Launcher
After several hours of very satisfying scientific research, I have concluded that hamsters are the most vicious and panicky when flung at high speeds at a low-altitude. Conclusion: Aim for the gonads.
7)Place in the middle of an old folks home, watch old people become confused
From the producers of “When Bears attack” and “When Hamsters Attack” comes the thrilling and engaging mini-series “When old people become confused”. It’s got more shock value than urinating on an electric fence.
5) Play dress up
Today, Mr. Gamecube is wearing his dashing fall cap and a very stylish tie. It’s all very fashionable, feasible, and most importantly, affordable.
4) Outboard Motor
Again with the duct-tape, plus with a quality boat hull and extension cord, you could be cruising the lake, hooking trout and picking up chicks with your 400 MHz outboard. Yee-haw!
3) Puppet Show
Just think of the magical adventures of Gamecube and his faithful sidekick Gameboy (Advance)! I feel all warm and squishy inside, either that or I need a new pair of Huggies.
2) Bolt in public place, videotape people trying to steal it
Just incase that tenth ninja comes back to seek revenge on your cube, pull a practical joke on the shadow warrior. You could even sell it as the new extreme reality TV show: “When ninjas steal stuff bolted to the ground”.
1) Worlds niftiest Waffle Maker
Simply disable the cooling fan, block the sides of the unit, run Rogue Squadron for an hour, and you have yourself a waffle press that will turn batter into eggo-quality waffles in seconds. Love that delicious ATI technology.
Agree with what I'm saying? Disagree? Let us know your thoughts on this issue in our mail bag. The views of Kevlar Gorilla are not necessarily the views of NGenres.com or its affiliates.
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QUOTE: |
| "I feel all warm and squishy inside, either that or I need a new pair of Huggies." |
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