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Editorials 
Top 10: Reasons we changed servers
- By Kevlar
Gorilla
If you haven’t noticed (which I’m sure you have) we, NGenres, have been down for quite a while. After several phone calls, a few threatening letters, a javelin, and a case of donuts, we decided to get a new server, so here we are! ... We’re back! ... YAY!
Now how about a Top Ten to commemorate this joyous occasion:
10) Current evidence proves that the other guys were hurting bunnies
They are pure evil I tell you. Not just normal bunnies either, the Cadbury Easter bunnies that sound like fat chickens. Speaking of which, I have a hankering for a creme egg. Mmm... creamy, eggy goodness...
9) They never bothered to learn the real ‘System of a Down’ lyrics
Wake up, nab a lush and put on a lit ill make up
Hide the cars to make away the bake up
Why’d you heave the kids upon the cable
There you go, create another label...
You bonnet dew...
8) They’re all like “pay us” and I’m all, like, “make me”
No we’re there, chillin’; thrillin’; little bit of hillin’, when this peep in his duds comes walkin’ up, and I’m all like “What’s the matter with you, foo!?” and he’s all like “Sup, what? You talkin’ to me ma man? Dis be my chillin’ hillin’ thrillin’ spot youse is in at this momento.” And I’m like “Shwaaaaa!” and I kung foo-ed his ass to the ground man. Yeah, and don’t let it happen again... bippity, bappity, BOOM!
7) People sometimes redirected to other, more evil, random sites
Like this one, and this one, and don’t forget this one. Those lazy smacktards.
6) They didn’t send us Valentines on St. Valentines Day
It’s so very, very sad. You would think after all that time together, they would at least remember this most holiest of days. Time for some chocolate to ease the pain... *sniff*
5) Too many fish sandwiches found wedged inside mainframes
Huh? Is that a ...
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squeezy mayo? ... eww...
4) The new guys offered us girls that smell good
Rest assured, this was the happiest day of our lives. Not only are they female, but they smell good! Good-smelling women are the best kind of women around. Three cheers for good-smelling women: Yay! Fazah! Boo-urns!
3)They always made our Gamecube controllers icky
Like putting toast crumbs in the butter, or sugar on the floor, they have to go and leave potato-chip oil on the gamepads. Then my dog goes and licks the controllers and I smell like dog breath.
2) Less time spent worrying about server = more naps
I love March break. Just the right amount of partying and alcohol just makes me want to....
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... ZZZ ...
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1) Revenge
Believe it or not, Tariq wasn't always the pile of muscle he is today. All through grade school the older, server-owning kids would do inhumane, ritualistic, and down-right mean things to him. But now, he’s CEO, the prez, the head-honcho, the big cheese! ... joke’s on them... HA!
Agree with what I'm saying? Disagree? Let us know your thoughts on this issue in our mail bag. The views of Kevlar Gorilla are not necessarily the views of NGenres.com or its affiliates.
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